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December 1976 ~

It’s not surprising that the first set of photos in my random collection of black and white negatives is of Janet Paige and her family.  I write Janet Paige here in the blog, but identify her photos for key word searches under what I understand to be her current name, Janet Paige Kuller.  Thoughout our relationship and marriage she was Janet Paige.  Behind that name change is at least one story, but stories you won’t read in this essay.

Ninety-nine percent of all of the black and white images I’ve shot are between 1971 and 1988.  With help from my uncle Phil Weston, a professional photographer, I built a darkroom in my parents’ basement in 1971 and began learning black and white photography.  When I started law school in Eugene, Oregon, in 1988 I no longer had the time or availability of a darkroom.

My first years as an adult were dominated by my love for Janet.  Loving someone means developing a relationship with their family.  These are photos of her family as we were meeting around Christmas 1976.  Maybe I have my dates wrong.

One subset of these photos is of Janet’s brother-in-law Greg Smith and her niece Holly, taken at their farm in southern Minnesota.

Another subset is of Janet’s aunt and uncle and cousins.  Sadly I can only remember the name of the Reverend Wally Paige.  These photos were taken at the parsonage of the West Branch, Iowa, United Methodist Church.  I remember that they were slightly offended when I asked if they’d considered orthodontia for their dog.

My favorite subset though is of Janet having a snowball fight with her father, the Rev. Warren Paige.  Neither person was particularly playful.  Nearly all of Janet’s interactions with her father were conversational.  I can’t remember off the top of my head any shared activity of theirs other than talk and occasionally playing board games when the larger family was around.

I’m sure that there is always tension between a father and a son-in-law.  Janet was one of three daughters, the youngest, and the one who most enjoyed theological discussions with her father.  I regret not respecting more the commitment Rev. Paige had to human rights.  He was among those who staged sit-ins to integrate Woolworth’s diner counters.  He was a solid Hubert Humphrey liberal when I remembered Humphrey for supporting the war in Vietnam.

What I remember most about the Rev. Paige was that he could appear to be listening to you when he wasn’t.  He inserted all the normal behaviors of active listening when in fact his mind was far away.  I’m sure that this was a coping mechanism for being an Iowa small-town minister.  I had wondered whether some of Janet’s maladaptive behaviors arose from having a father whom she idolized, but at bottom wasn’t listening.

At least here they were loving each other and it shows.