May 1977, black and white, my first wedding ~

The photographs were taken by David Babcock.  

A few months before the wedding my fiance, Janet, decided that she wasn’t going in to the ministry.  She had decided that Christianity was too fundamentally sexist.  She had been planning to go to seminary most of her life.  The summers I had known her she worked for the United Methodist Church of Iowa improving youth programs at various churches.  She, another college student, and the married chaplains for the University of Northern Iowa would come in to a congregation to work for a week with their teenagers.  Their week concluded with a Sunday worship service she created with the teens.  She enjoyed creating worship services and brought that skill and enthusiasm to our wedding.

There was a bit of a power struggle between her and her father, The Reverend Warren Paige.  We decided to pay for our own wedding rather than have our parents, her parents, be responsible.  This gave her total creative control over our wedding.  We reserved the stone lodge at Palisades Kepler State Park for the venue.   She bought her wedding dress at a downtown Mount Vernon store as a discounted prom dress.  My mother hand crafted my white brushed denim suit (modeled after John Lennon’s on the Abbey Road cover).   We got a carrot cake from a local baker.  We got a few flowers.  Jeff Schaumeyer was gracious to arrange a string quartet to play the preludes.  And Janet designed the ceremony.

The day is a blur, as are some of the photos.  Janet had grown up in the Methodist Church.  Her father, uncle and cousin were ordained.  Her sister and brother-in-law’s best friends were the ordained chaplains to UNI.  Her family’s friends were among the pastorate.  Janet’s wedding ceremony had several ministers with roles.  One gave the opening prayer.  One sang on his guitar.  Another gave a brief homily.  A classmate of ours read his poem.  Janet’s father gave his homily and had his fifteen-minute slice of time.  He later complained that he had so little to contribute to his daughter’s wedding.  Janet and I had written our vows.

And we were married!

When I get around to it, I will write about my family’s participation in the event while discussing the reception.  Those are the color photos that David Babcock shot that day.

In 1994 I was diagnosed with a major depressive disorder.  One of my worst bouts of depression began a few months before this wedding and lasted for over a year.  I felt alone and uncomfortable at the wedding.  I did not want to be the center of attention, but that’s what a wedding is all about.  Perhaps these photos reflect that feeling.

The next day, Janet graduated from Cornell College, cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa, with a degree in English.